when pigs fly…

well they do. pigs do in fact fly… on continental airlines.

my most recent trip was to dfw. thanks scheduling. i’ve only lived in dallas for my entire life – not counting three years in houston – and the fabulous trip i was hoping for turns out to be none other than a dallas layover. it was ok though. i came to terms with the fact that it was no london, dublin or rome, but it was a good chance for me to get some more things without using my days off. plus i got to eat at pete’s… and oh yeah, see the fam!

the trip was going to be easy-peasy! i had one leg there, 15 hour layover, and one leg back. of course i get to the airport for check-in and the flight is already delayed. no big deal. around 8:15 we finally got on the plane, even though departure time was still 8:35. we knew that wouldn’t happen because we still had to do pre-flight checks and let the passengers board. the travellers traipsed on, all telling tales of their days of travel, cancellations and delays. many families and couples were split up due to being bumped and placed on standby, so i helped and after a lovely game of musical chairs, everyone was mostly happy.

come to find out, the pilots for our flight just left miami and the gate agents hadn’t bothered to check on the main component needed for us to make it to dallas… so now we would leave around 11:30. none of us wanted to be stuck on the plane with these people for two more hours so we let them leave their stuff but get back off the plane. some handled it with delirious amusement and others with anger, directed at us of course. needless to say we had an interesting time getting to dallas, but luckily most slept and we arrived around 2:30am.

mom picked me up and i got to meet the new addition to our family, lola the yellow lab. the next day i took care of some errands and ate lunch with mom and kathy at pete’s. knowing the weather was bad in newark, i checked the status of our flight and saw that were were now scheduled to leave three hours later, which meant i had time to do some shopping!

when i got to the airport, i was going through security i noticed a ticket on the ground and found the owner who was just about to go through the metal detector. “you’re not going to get very far without this,” i told him. he was unusually grateful, but then i thought that maybe i’m just getting used to the northeast attitude. he came up to me again after i went through security and thanked me profusely. really. not a big deal. so when he started walking the same direction as i was, i felt like i needed to make small talk.

“where’re you headed?”


“oh you’re probably on my flight then. i’m going to newark” – “joy!” i thought!

turns out he was scheduled on a later flight, but since we were delayed i knew his flight would also be delayed and he got the genius idea that maybe he could get on my flight. of course, we were still early and no one was at the gate.

“well we have time, can i buy you a drink for saving me?”

(was he serious? ugh. it wasn’t a big deal and of course i couldn’t drink, i was working!)
we settled on coffee. but of course that meant sitting down and conversation. when i discovered his wedding ring and he mentioned kids, i thought i was safe. he asked me if i get hit on a lot and i used that opportunity to drop a hint.

“no actually. i like it better that way. i’m just trying to do my job and i don’t need people bothering me.” hint, hint.

i finally see a gate agent at the desk and say i need to head over and check-in. he follows right behind me of course. luckily the rest of my crew was already down on the plane so i thanked him for the coffee and skedaddled, secretly hoping he wasn’t able to switch over to our flight.

as luck would have it, he did make it, and not only that, but he was in the second to last row and i was working the back galley. naturally.

so throughout the flight he continues to come back there. ask me dumb questions, go to the bathroom, ask for another drink, ask me to go have a drink with him. what? by this time i wasn’t naive enough to think that he was just being thankful and friendly, but i mean didn’t we just talk about his wife and kids?

“i have plans with my sister,” but i left out the fact that they weren’t until the next day!

i thought he had given up until a little later when he came back for another diet coke and asked me why i wouldn’t go have dinner with him. so we’re moving from have a drink to go to dinner. i. don’t. think. so.

as i started to say again that i had plans with my sister, he furthered the awkardness by asking “well, if you didn’t have plans with your sister, would you go to dinner with me?”

i am usually not good at these situations, but this was pretty easy.

“why not?” (as if he needed to ask!)

“because you’re married!!!”

finally that was it. although i wasn’t sure i was safe until i got on the shuttle to go home.

moral of the story: men are pigs. and since men fly on continental, pigs do in fact fly.
(sorry for those of you reading who are of the male gender)

2 thoughts on “when pigs fly…

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